One of the least discussed domains pertaining to the facilitation of lasting sobriety and quality recovery within the current dialogues today is that of the family support system. There is a myriad of reasons that could be pointed to as to why there is a lack of conversation surrounding this particular facet, but it seems as though the most obvious is that there just isn’t much relevant literature available that delineates how a family might go about fostering new and healthy dynamics in the face of the disease of addiction. It also makes sense that certain families and members within those families are reluctant to try and establish a strong family support unit due to a history of discord between the addict and their family. No family is free from maladaptive and toxic dynamics that can, and typically do, infect the harmony of the system as a whole. While this issue deserves an entirely different article, the good news is that families who may have a tarred history of disagreement and strained relations, these same families can begin acting in a manner that exhibits compassion, curiosity, understanding, and communication in order to better support the suffering addict, and they can do it now!
Those who have suffered from addiction are all too aware that this experience is typically one wrought with crippling isolation that subsequently leads to severe depression. Findings within addiction literature, as well as that of sociological and psychological literature, tell us that the opposite of addiction is not sobriety, but rather connection. This is best exemplified in the “Rat Park” experiments of the late 20th century. To illustrate the importance of connection vis a vis addiction recovery, it’s helpful to take a short glance at what these experiments taught us. Two sets of “community” were established for the rats; in one was merely a cage that enclosed one rat with water, food, and finally, synthetic cocaine. In the other, the same amenities were provided except that within this environment there were many rats with whom they could interact with. In short, the rat left in isolation forewent all available food and water and consumed the cocaine at a rate that was so destructive that they killed themselves. In “Rat Park”, however, this phenomenon of choosing cocaine over food and water was not present. What we can infer here is clear; connection provides a higher value (even to rats) that actually supersedes the desire for momentary ecstasy. This parallels the addicts plight quite accurately because the addicted individual remains in a feedback loop, the repetition and compulsive nature of which actually creates a homeostatic, yet maladaptive, “comfort zone” whereby so long as there is adequate drugs or alcohol to fuel this not-so-merry-go-round, the individual will be motivated to stay within the confines of this, albeit incorrectly perceived, self-preservatory structure (i.e. state of addiction). Now, of course, experts have identified many modes of treatment for addiction, but the question remains, “What, as a family member, can I do to help my loved one?!”
First and foremost, an understanding of what addiction is, why it occurs, and how best to treat it is actually not necessary in order to support the addict. Of course, if families were able to commit time to a deeper understanding of the addictive process, they would certainly have a better chance of being received as compassionate and caring arbiters of support by the addict, however, and again, it is not necessary. Fundamentally, the suffering addict needs to feel loved and accepted in order to perceive themselves as ever being able to break through the isolative yet extremely seductive claws of their “comfort zone” (state of addiction). Where love, compassion, and communication are lacking, we can be sure that so is the desire to emancipate oneself. The typical analogy as to how to best proceed with a loved one suffering from addiction is to imagine that same loved one was diagnosed with cancer. It would be reasonable to assume one would research the type of cancer, the science supporting the most effective treatments, and orient themselves from a position of understanding and compassion. What needs to be expanded on here from the typical analogy can be achieved by asking ourselves, “What if our loved one chose to do nothing about seeking out treatments, interventions, and strategies to mitigate and eventually overcome this disease?” Here is the bitter pill; in order to optimally care for our loved ones afflicted with this disease, in the face of their apathy, we must be instruments that encourage action on their part. While this is not the responsibility of the family nor can they ultimately make the choice for their loved one to get help, it is imperative that this difficult conversation be had. After laying out the extremely difficult groundwork for families, we see it is no easy process, and a process made even more difficult without the relevant knowledge and experience. This is where Hired Power and the services they provide to families and the individual sufferer become invaluable. Hired Power offers a myriad of recovery services that are much more personal than one might receive at a larger treatment center. Personal Recovery Assistants (PRA) are available not only to help with support and wisdom but are also there as a means of connection for the addict as early recovery can be a dismal and lonely place at times. Often, the strain on families to simply cope with the loved one and their addiction is large enough which also makes Hired Power’s Care Management services a great option helps the addict address external concerns such as legal issues, physicians, different options for treatment planning, and the locating and incorporation of therapeutic services through a licensed psychotherapist. Standing by a family member suffering from addiction can be a grueling process, but with the services provided by Hired Power, it does not have to be done alone.
Hired Power has the experience, expertise and supportive environment to help you achieve lasting recovery. We’re here to help you every step of the way. Call us today: (800) 910-9299.